Open You Eyes
by Ceillean
Summary: Jaina deals with having lost her brother. Songfic/ Open up your eyes by Daughtry


Jaina lay alone in bed, exhausted yet afraid to close her eyes for if she did so, she would dream. Her dreams left her rattled, in a state of shock; the edifice of her world crumbled into oblivion when she dreamt. Nightmares ruled her inner mind, bloody and brutal, devastatingly lethal and so very, very real.

She stared up to the dark ceiling where lights filtering through the blinds played havoc with her senses. The outside world seemed just as agitated and restless as she was.

It had been exactly one year since she'd destroyed her soul. She had willingly ripped away her other half, telling herself that it was the right thing to do to save billions of people.

But had it really? On a personal level, had it been worth it?

Jaina turned onto her side, feeling tears sting her eyes. She held them back for crying was a sign of weakness.

Yet as her dark eyes locked onto a bright red rose standing on the nightstand her composure faltered. It was beautiful, this lonesome flower. So very beautiful and yet it didn't belong. Alone it stood, withering away in a cold, merciless place where death was a certainty.

Jaina drew the covers up to her chin as a coldness seeped into her very bones. She squeezed her eyes shut as an all too familiar pain coursed through her, a lightning strike so fierce and quick, that it was almost too much to bear.

And against her will, a tear trailed down her cheek. A single tear shed for the part of her soul she had killed.

_A single rose left to remember  
As a single tear falls from her eye  
Another cold day in December  
A year from the day she said goodbye  
_

At times she wondered if she would ever forgive herself. No matter how many times her friends and family reassured her that it had been the right thing to do, her heart thought otherwise. After all, she had killed her brother.

A murderer.

A tyrant.

A Sith Lord.

He was evil incarnate, wasn't he? He needed to be stopped. And she had been the only one capable of doing so.

Her mind knew this.

Her heart didn't want to accept it.

_Seems it's only been a moment  
Since the angels took him from her arms  
And she was left there holding on to their tomorrow  
But as they laid him in the ground  
Her heart would sing without a sound  
_

Jaina took a deep yet quivering breath and closed her eyes. Exhaustion swept over her, forcing sleep to take her into the realm of dreams she so dreaded. Here, he would find her.

Here, she would again be reminded of his smile, his twinkling eyes, his brotherly love she yearned for. The pain she held bottled up inside crawled through tiny cracks and crevices when she dreamed and sometimes she would wake up, wondering why her face was moist with tears.

Jacen – or was it Caedus? – stood before her and although Jaina knew he wasn't real, a deep routed fear made her tremble. She didn't fear her brother, she never had. She feared her actions. She'd killed him once. Would she do it again? No one was here to stop her and Jacen wouldn't fight back.

Caedus would.

But how was she to know who stood before her now? He had no Force signature in the dream world. He simply was.

"Who are you?" Jaina whispered with a shaky voice. "Get away from me."  
To her utter dismay, the man who was her brother lifted his arm and held out his hand to her.

"Open your eyes, Jaina." He said in that all too familiar deep voice. Her knees buckled and she choked on a sob. "Take my hand and open your eyes."

_A single lifetime lays behind her  
As she draws her final breath  
Just beyond the door he'll find her  
Taking her hand he softly says_

Jaina hesitated. Force, she wanted to take his hand, she wanted to feel his warmth again. She wanted to see his smile, hear his laugh. She wanted to be a part of him. She wanted her brother back.

There were no words to describe how much she missed him, how much she yearned to turn back time and change everything.

Had she noticed sooner, maybe she could have helped him find his way back to the light…  
Maybe he would have listened to her. Maybe things would have turned out differently, had he let her in.

So many possibilities…

"Jaina, open your eyes." Jacen's face lit up with a smile and he laughed. "Open your eyes and see. It's finally time."

He beckoned with his outstretched hand and slowly, Jaina stepped forward. It couldn't hurt to touch him, even only in a dream. Perhaps it would soothe the ache in her heart. Maybe she would find forgiveness in grasping his hand.

"Open your eyes and see." Jacen said when he pulled her into a tight hug. He'd always been taller but now it seemed he'd grown larger than life. His entire being enveloped her and the coldness inside her evaporated.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, she could breathe.

The onslaught of emotions was overwhelming; she cried out as she clutched her brother, a part of her not wanting to let go while the other part kept reminding her that all this was only a dream. And dreams ended.

As did everything, eventually.

"It's time for you to go, Jaina." Jacen whispered softly. "Open your eyes and see."  
Jaina woke up with a start, feeling warm hands shake her awake. Her sight was blurry with tears, her breathing ragged as she gulped in air.

The dream – a nightmare?

She wasn't quite sure.

Jaina held back more tears when she realized it was Jag who had woken her. She recognized worry in his eyes and she wanted to reassure him but how when she wasn't even sure herself?

"Jag…" She whispered in a hoarse voice, throwing her arms around his neck and simply holding him.

_Open your eyes, Jaina, and see._ She heard Jacen's voice. A shimmering blue image appeared in front of her, grinning from one ear to the other. She would keep this last picture of him close to heart. So handsome, so beautiful. Her brother. Her twin. The missing part of her soul.

_Open your eyes and welcome your new life, Jaina.  
_

He vanished, leaving behind yet another void in her heart.

Hours passed while Jaina sat cuddling with the man she loved, crying for the brother she had lost.

_Open your eyes, Jaina. Welcome to your new life._

"I love you, Jacen." She whispered and for the first time, she could actually _see_. For the first time, she saw a hopeful future, she saw love and she saw forgiveness.

She saw her new life.

_For the first time you can open your eyes  
And see the world without your sorrow  
Where no one knows the pain you left behind  
And all the peace you could never find  
Is waiting there to hold and keep you  
Welcome to the first day of your life_


End file.
